Betty Blac: gorgeous even with weird porn lighting

It’s one thing to want to be in porn, and it’s another thing to want to be intimately acquainted with the birds eye view of your own asshole. I think maybe that is why I had to wait a while before viewing some of my own porn. The first Betty Blac porn that came out I watched immediately, cringing at every unflattering angle and confused facial expression. But then more came out and I shared them with others, not daring to view them myself, until yesterday.

Watching the porn videos reminded me that this whole modeling adventure is a learning journey. Before performing in many porn scenes I was under the impression that porn was a natural talent, especially for a woman. I imagined to some degree that all you have to do is get fucked and allow yourself to be moved into position by your co-star. Having done less than a handful of porns I can’t really make a generalization, but still my impression was that porn was not hard work.

But the reality is that at the end of the day, it has to look good on camera. Your facial expressions and body language need to drip sex. Mine seemed to drip confused scared bewilderment. I am definitely bewildered now about why my caramel skin looks washed out enough to make my ethnicity significantly more ambiguous.

In good porn the chemistry is palpable. You can see the cocks getting hard and the pussies getting wet in the eyes of the actors/actresses before even one single item of clothing is removed.

So I was dismayed to watch my irrepressibly awkward self on film. I didn’t know where to put my eyes; my wig was trying it’s hardest to escape; my make up failed to hide my embarrassing skin imperfections; and both me and my co-star looked like we were thinking about other things.

Which is weird, because if you flashback to when I wrote about my first porn experience, it was a positive tale. My memory of the experience and how it played on film seem to butt up against each other. I remember feeling nervous but not as awkward as it played out in post production. I do remember the sweating, so at least that part was accurate.

This is my study, my rough draft. My beginning discovery that I need to find a way of communicating the passionate person that I am in real life into film. l am studying porn and really evaluating what I do and I do not like. I have watched a lot of what is out there now, and it begs the question: is this all there is?

There is an abundance of porn, but only a handful of people making stuff that is beautiful artistic, sexy and smart. I want to see sexy people of all sizes and genders having freak nasty sex to good music in interesting settings. I want to see pussies so naturally wet that they are dripping down thighs. I want to see hungry eyes and hot hot hot fucking. I don’t want to see oversaturated lighting, cheesy scenarios or fake anything.

In this transition point in my career where I have developed a distinct love hate relationship with webcamming and I am not longer associated with shady management, I want to dedicate my career to adding to the small but growing indie porn market that is epicentered in the Bay Area.

I already have an idea of my aesthetic and what I would like to see, but I want to begin a dialogue with the positive sexuality/ kink communities and see what it is that is missing in porn for others, because I would love something organic and community based to arise out of this dialogue about what people would like to see and no longer see.

Feel free to comment and I will continue to write about the ebbs and flows of starting to not just model but also to create and produce my own porn.