I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time with my hand on my clit. I love porn, erotica, webcams, sex and empowered sluts who are positive about their bodies and comfortable with their sexual selves. I’ve always been this way, but I haven’t always been comfortable with it. It took me a while to settle into a pro-porn version of feminism.
I have secretly wanted to be in the adult industry for at least 10 years… But what would my friends and family think? Would I still be a good feminist? Would I still be a good person? It took some time for me to find answers to these questions that made sense. At some point I realized that the only person’s feelings about my modeling career that I needed to consider were my own. It took me seeing others creating progressive porn to realize I could be a feminist, a good person and a porn star. It’s only now that I am embracing my body and my sexuality and, finally, at 31 I am taking it off on camera.
I guess I am a product of the progressive Bay Area. Many of my friends, lovers and acquaintances are porn stars and happy whores. I returned to the Bay Area a year and a half ago after living in Australia for three years during and after getting my MA. Though many Aussies are sex positive, they don’t quite have the unique brand of sex positivity we have here. Back in the Bay, I can’t walk ten feet without stumbling over someone who is passionate about being any combination of kinky, poly, queer, progressive, inclusive, feminist… I’m all of the above and it’s a constant learning process.
As a BBW and a woman of color I’m not what typically comes to mind when people think of porn. This blog is kind of an experiment to see what happens when you mix a quirky, educated, arty, chubby, progressive brown girl and the multifaceted adult industry. I’m both nervous and excited about putting myself out there, learning and writing about my adventures in the world of sex on film.