September 7th, 2010 | By Mariah

The World’s Best Blow Job

Comments

During my strolls along the Internet, I found a site listing tips for giving a great blow job. To my surprise the author wrote, “Don’t try to take it all in your mouth because you may gag, and gagging is most definitely not sexy.” What? If I am to believe porn (not to mention a few of my partners), deep throating and the accidental gagging that may occur due to deep throating, is in fact very sexy.

But maybe I don’t know a thing about giving head. It’s possible. So I turned to my dearest Internet friend: Google. Over a million sites for “Blow Job Tips” Wow. That’s a lot of information, and doesn’t include suggested search queries like Secret Blow Jobs (2m sites), Blow Job Hints (16m sites!). All this “help” led to obvious contradictions: Always Swallow and Men Love Facials was one of the more obvious conflicts. Are there really that many bad blow jobs out there that all this information is needed? I did find this funny video of a sweet Asian woman demonstrating a Hummer. The Star-Spangled Banner? Really?

A commenter on this video left this helpful advice: “This works, but you can just moan instead of singing and looking like an idiot.” I agree wholeheartedly. Moaning is a much sexier route. Who wants to think about politics during a blow job? (Unless it’s a little Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton roleplay! Don’t forget the blue dress!)

Google proved to be too much help. Next step, Playpen’s Facebook Fans. Here are some of my favorite responses:

“definitely the butterfly flick..woohoooo babe”

“using the tip of ur tongue for the nob, sucking motions, deep throating,using ur hands, licking, spitting and moaning”

“its all about the hand and mouth working as one in one massive stimulant”

“What I don’t like is when the girl imagines she’s trying to suck a golf ball through a garden hose. (A little pain is wicked fun, but I don’t want to lose the top layer of skin.) Everything else is wonderful.”

“I like it when the girl flicks her tongue (butterfly flick for lack of a better term) I also LOVE it when she kisses the tip with soft almost innocent kisses while she strokes. Deepthroat of course and ample playing/licking of the balls”

Now, I’ve been told that I give a pretty darn good blow job. Dare I admit it, the word “best” has been uttered on more than one occasion. Though a friend reminded me that “Men tell girls that they give the ‘best’ head in hopes that they’ll venture down south regularly.” It’s great to have friends that keep my ego in check. So maybe I’m not the best, however, I do have a tip to add to the 16 million other Blow Job Tip pages.

My #1 Tip for Giving The World’s Best Blow Job:
Know the cock you are sucking.

I’m talking more than his first name. Here’s the reality: everyone’s anatomy and brain is wired differently. Sure it helps to have a bag of tricks to use, and the more tricks you know, the more you can experiment, the better you learn your man’s body. Hummers, Butterfly Flicks, Ball Licking, Tea-Bagging, Deep Throating are all great things to know, but the most important thing you’ll ever do during a blow job is listen. Explore his sensitive spots and listen to his moans. He’ll tell you exactly what he likes if you know how to listen.

Comments

  • Shannon Nelson

    I completely agree.. you gotta listen to your man.. you also have to pay attention to his body movements.. if he’s just laying there.. he’s not really getting into it.. It’s like us women.. when we are getting ours and we are just laying there, hips not moving.. we aren’t into it.. I know when I give my man oral.. sometimes his hips get to going so wildly I can’t keep up with him.. thats how I know he’s really into it.. So bottom line.. keep your ears and eyes open.. :)

  • mariah

    … and mouth open, Shannon! :) Thanks for commenting!

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    I love the tips on this site, they are always to the point and just the information I was looking for. Theres a link at the bottom of the page its not working, please send me the link at joanbm3@gmail.com